Archive for the ‘Submission’ Category
I thought I would take a moment to share with you my absolute favorite porn site. I was introduced to it by a caller from London back in my salad days of phone sex working for a company instead of niteflirt. I promise you when I went to check it out, I was not expecting much but instead found myself captivated. Basically these guys take amature, wanna be and seasoned porn stars into their studios as if they are going in for a garden variety shoot, pay them a lot of money and proceed to verbally rip apart their self esteem until they cry while doing all manner of nasty shit to them like in this rising cum catcher, Tori Lane. Not only does she get her pussy fucked hard by a couple of porn hands but they do it until she screams and cries. You want to see how down right rough this scene gets? Check out her nasty ass trailer here at Meat Holes.Com It doesn’t stop there though, it gets even kinkier! Even if you are not into dacryphilia (crying fetish) you might just think it is fucking amazing when they suction her cunt until it swells up like a fucking life preserver! It looked painful but alas she was already in tears!Want to watch more of this fuck pig’s raunchy movie? You can at Meat Holes.Com right now!
Master A loves to DP me and have me write for him and I likewise love to be DP’ed while writing blogs, trust me it adds a whole new perspective to blogging. Sometimes I wish he could call me at night and tell me dirty bed times stories about his sexcapades. I do like to take calls right before I go to bed because not only do I usually get off as I do with master A but I usually dream about what ever I talked about right before sleep. Them my mind gets a hold of it and tears it up in ways I would even be to embarrassed to mention here. I am so dirty in my head it is embarrassing.
That is what I like about my calls, especially those with Master A. I can go places that normally I would be to embarrassed to go. It is very scary to share ones deep dark secrets here in the indelible writing of the Internet. On the phone I can let go and be free to be me.
Sometimes theater of the mind is the only place you really can be free. I dare you call me and go all those deep dark places Master A and I go.
Memory, Gods damn it, Damn my memory. I struggle so hard with it sometimes and do quite well with my little notebook to remind me of the things I must do and the things I must write but having the little notebook is not appropriate during calls or during sex I do not think. So I am left to this on my own with no help…..
I want to do good and I want to be very pleasing but it is hard because I do not remember if my reflection, my devotion is on, for lack of a better term the thesis statement :
Why Good Girls Get Punished or Why it is Important to be a Good Girl
I can write both but I am not sure witch one so I am going to go with the latter because it suits Johnny’s esoteric style. While it may not be esoteric to most it is to me because you never know what they, they being Doms, are looking for. I like specifics and they never give them!
So here goes.
I know you might expect me to write that I think it is important to be a good girl so I do not get punished but punishment is only a small part of a bigger picture. Punishment like writing keeps my focus and puts me back in subspace where I belong, where I wish to dwell all the time but why it is important to be good is so much more than that.
For me , being pleasing is the most important and when I am not pleasing I am not really happy and I have no sense of my own perfection but only how another sees me and If you do not think I am perfect then I am not pleasing. The only opinion in that matter is that of the Master.
Yes, I will push boundaries when I am not in control and or to test you and want and expect you to keep those boundaries closed and not let me slip through a crack in the wall because even in my success I will fail. Fail both you and myself.
The most important reason to be a good girl is because it makes me happy to be good. It makes me happy to be who you want me to be and I cannot be any of those things if you do not remind me.
I am not sure if it is harder or easier to write when freezing. I understand the concept and figure it is much like Dr.Wicked’s Writing Lab where outside stimulus keeps your focus. Dr wicked uses sound and in advanced mode takes your words away and Dom A uses the frigid Georgia winter weather. Wait, let me step back a moment. It is not so cold here like places in the north where it is below freezing but enough to give me goose bumps and keep my nipples hard as pebbles.
Did I mention the butt plug? Yep it is there too, to keep me writing, another one of those outside stimuli. I like it when this is done. I like to be made to write. I miss it very much and in the last two days I have had three writing assignments. Beat that(or beat me)! I go from a virtual sub frenzy to control. I love being in control and would not have it any other way.
I think this is something Dom A understands , “Idle Hands Are The Devil’s Tools” the same can be said for thoughts so writing is an excellent way to focus both on the good of the slave, ME!
I do enjoy listening to Dom A and hearing his stories they are very exciting and frightening, frightening in my phobia of bondage. He found for me the name of the phobia and I cannot wait to find out what it is called. Perhaps he will be willing to grab my other phobia by its horns and find its name, the name for my fear of midgets.
When I fantasize about his retelling of his experiences I always put myself in the place of his slave and in this theater in my mind I can go where ever he takes me and there I can go anywhere. It is hard to image my mind bridging my reality because every time I have begun to go there I freeze and experience fight or flight and will take which ever out seems more achievable form my perspective at the time. It is crazy what adrenaline can do. I have broken bonds and bitten through a ball gag.
So scary yes but defiantly much fun!
I wanted to share my darkest desire and I know many out there are not into body modification but I see it, in BDSM, as the ultimate show of devotion for the slave and the Master.
What greater honor could bestow a slave than to be allowed to wear proudly her master’s mark? Especially if it was something she earned. I know there are a lot of dominant men out there who think as soon as a slave enters their stable they should be permanently marked but to me this is a ridiculous line of thought. Their mark should represent not notches on a bed post, on a belt or in this case some part of a slaves body no this mark represents his sign of devotion to her as well as hers to him. He has chose to display to the world his property, his property that he has chose to cherish and keep safe for a long time to come not just a notch.
The slave is making the sacrifice here, making a indelible mark on her body, her being to show her complete and total devotion.
I find it offensive to think it would be taken lightly by any responsible respectable Master. A master who just uses it as a notch on his belt is unworthy of respect and that light will shine through eventually but sadly for the slave not until after the mark has been placed.
I would love nothing more than to be so honored as to be allowed to wear my masters barcode on the back of my neck. Unfortunately that has not happened for me yet but it has for others at http://www.slaveregister.com/
Here many dominate and submissive couples and groups go to register their slaves for the world to see then, some take it a step further and take the bar code generated for them and make it in to jewelry and body modifications.
I would love to have the honor of wearing the jewelry even but as of yet it has not happened for me. A branding on my ass or a tattoo at the nape of my neck would be outstanding.
Here are some photos from http://www.slaveregister.com/ I enjoyed:
I listened to my last caller, a Dom, tell his stories to me and was very intrigued at the intelligence and creativity that went into his sessions. The way he described them to me they were sessions with submissive women rather than slaves, I think, I say this because he gave no indication that these ladies were his 24/7 but rather having scenes. I write this because many have read me make the distinction between submissive women and slaves i.e. all slaves are submissive but not all submissive women are slaves. When I make the distinction I am not saying one is better than the other, just clarifying.
We will call him Dom A. Dom A made use of some factors for sensation that most over look. In all honestly after thinking about it only he and one other have used it but both used them differently, these oftentimes over looked sensations, the weather. The former Dom friend who I never ended up meeting used the hot sunshine for training nude slaves at once punishing their whole bodies and giving them a healthy unlined glow but Dom A used the bitter cold of winter for punishment which while not wishing it done to me because some punishments you just don’t crave I thought it was very innovative to use something always available and work it into your punishments.
The one thing I never got to tell him is that while bondage turns me on intensely and all the porn I watch includes extreme bondage I have never been effectively tied because for lack of a better term, I am claustrophobic. I am sure there is a phobia to cover the fear of being bound, I do not know the name off hand.
I have tried to over come my fear by being bound in ways that there is no question that I can get out e.g. with panty hose that if you stretch them you can get out while still being able to feel confined. I also play with gags ball gags specifically but I have only ever been able to play with them so long as every thing else was unbound. I have had my wrists lightly tied together as well.
I have never been able to go so far as total bondage but am working on it in my own little ways in hopes to one day achieve that level of ecstasy. It is a hard road.
I loved listening to his stories and imagining myself being able to be the girl in them.
One thing that is particularly hard for me that some Doms require and Dom A was no exception is silence. I think I can quote “no noise and excessive theatrics”. The problem being is I am very vocal and that has little to do with it being telephone considering I have always been this way and even in the days when I had to hide that I was having sex my partners began referring to me as “mouse” because the sounds that came out of me when I tried to stifle sounded very much like a mouse squeaking. Then there was the other extreme, when fucking vanilla guy and they would ask if they were hurting me (what a turn off). Vocal for me is not a show because we are on the phone but an extension of what is going on inside me that I often cannot control either on the phone or with a man amounted above me which makes it a perfect infraction to punish me for though I do make such pretty noises , why would you want to miss out.
The only disagreement Dom A and I found was in protocol and he is interesting enough that I think we can overcome that unless of course he can beat my opinion out of me.
So, Dom A, I look forward to getting to know you better if you wish.
Yesterday I was punished semi severely after having been neglected since Saturday. This is part of the reason I am available for rent or lease as My Dom has allotted time for me and has arranged for me to have time available for him. Of course I am always available for his whimsy but the intense full BDSM regalia is not broken out, usually, unless it is planned. Sometimes only he knows of the plans. The places I see “open” in my agenda are actually time he has made for punishing me for his pleasure. That is different than everyday discipline and more like sceneing than daily domination. I have lists of rules in my agenda and I must follow them and or do them if they are assignments if I fail I will usually be punished immediately but if he is in a particularly nasty mood he will save it for that day of more “official” abuse. One of my problems has always been trusting the wrong people, getting too involved with my internet or telephone contacts without cause or reason and also causing any threat to his property, me. My loyalty is always in question, not because I am disloyal but because I am a slut and my day is full of men and I have instructions to always give them all of me and if that were not the case they would not be getting what they pay for. There for, opening up myself like that coupled with being a slut my motives and judgment are always in question. Enter computer terminal B: Bob He has a pretty easy way of dealing with this, not to mention effective. This one is much, much to dirty for just a freebie blog so I figured I would write part of it as a freebie and you can go below to purchase the rest of it and I will also attach some nekkid pictures with the mail So if you want a hot story and some pictures just scroll down
Sometimes I feel like a cuckold girl. This weekend, Saturday to be specific, I was supposed to go to the Hollywood Undead show at the Masquerade, but Friday night I fell asleep while Johnny was punishing a slave an he told me I could not go with him that he would prefer to take someone who actually gave a fuck and paid attention. You see I am always in trouble. I did not figure he would need my help and perhaps he didn’t but the expectations of my behavior are high so instead I had to stay home and work on websites, which was okay because I had good company but the worst part was when he came home and brought Aurora with him. She is this blond bomb shell that we often use for shows because it is often too much on my plate, She is also the one who addressed his needs over the summer.
I was going to protest but bit my tongue when thinking about my punishment with Beka and Michael. So I bit my tongue, quite literally. I guess he saw that I had to visibly bite my tongue when he was heading to the doors to the down stairs, to his rooms because he quickly informed me that if I even think it I could be a human mattress. Then went on to describe it in , what some would call sickening detail but for me it would be something more akin to erotic humiliation.
He said I was more than welcome to come down, lay face down on the floor in which case she could lay atop me in missionary position while he fucked her and perhaps
I declined and went to my room at his instruction and wondered what they were after plugging in my “boyfriend” so I could get off wondering in my humiliation and jealousy.
I am always looking for the new and unusual fetishes to see if they strike my fancy most do some don’t but this one is new, it fascinates me and kinda makes me sad. It is a new twist on an old fetish that could even tie in with the school girl fetish (one of my personal favorite role plays), Braces. Yep you heard it orthodontic repair devices used for bondage and or torture which makes absolutely wet thinking about and sad that I already went thought that stage and never thought of it!
I have done a dental gag, and various other gags including the funnel gag but this is a whole new kind of mouth bondage and even in its non sexual application is still a bondage and training device for the mouth. I do know that this is already used by some masters in BDSM who enjoy sculpting women into the perfect being. They employ all manner of cosmetic procedures for improvement of their slaves to the end result they desire.
A lot of the men I know who do this like to take a flawed or broken person and change them into something spectacular. I know a man who likes to take women who are overweight, plain and dumpy and make them into virtual beauty queens. Mind you he makes them earn it and it is defiantly a power exchange he trades their new found vanity and self-esteem for the acts of depravity and servitude he desires in the end he has an esthetically pleasing woman worshipping him that he created and she is loyal because she attributes all of her changes to him. The more physically challenged she is the prouder he is of the end result. He has guided her and molded her into everything she always dreamed she could be and he has the perfect slave he desired. Could there be a better trade off? I have never known any of his kittens to go back to what they once where.
This braces fetish is way cool. It takes what most would consider a miserable time in life, the time when you are at your “ugliest” some would feel and turns it beautiful and depraved.
Yes, there is much beauty in depravity. You should check it out! Mouth Stretching
Lipstick and Braces
The Fetish All Orthodontists Should Have
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