I think it makes sense to look at different types of punishment and look at what the psychological element is in each.

Physical punishment, which is basically pain punishment (for non-masochists) and conceivably also hunger or exhaustion (e.g. “run 10 laps!”) punishment, is the most direct and least psychological form. The psychological element is just in understanding why the punishment is being given.

Denial punishment, for example, “You shall not watch your favourite television programme this evening”, or “You shall not have any orgasms for x amount of time”, works because it cuts off a source of pleasure, and therefore the punished person feels that as a loss.

Tedium punishment involves setting a boring and/or repetitive task (for example, writing lines). This is very much psychological because the punishment is all about the induced mental state of tedium.

Ordeal punishment is where a difficult and/or unpleasant task is demanded – the earlier response about humiliation from going to the bank dressed as a street sexworker is an example of ordeal punishment; in a recent relationship, I knew that setting the task of writing a poem was an ordeal punishment because I knew my sub found poetry very hard to write. I think ordeal punishment can be very risky (the example in the OP of someone afraid of the dark being locked in a dark closet, I think, illustrates this because such things can induce very bad or harmful mental states, like panic attacks, if care is not taken). I think it is important to be sure that the person being punished can actually succeed in the task set. Ordeal punishment type situations are becoming a staple of quiz shows and reality game shows (I’m also thinking of the situation in India Jones and the Temple of Doom where the woman afraid of creepy-crawlies has to reach into a hole full of them, in order to save Jones’ life from the deathtrap).

However, I think the purest of all psychological punishments that a Dominant can ever give to a sub/slave is simply to say, “I’m disappointed in you.” In my experience, it is this subtext that above all provides the psychological dimension of any punishment meted out to a sub, and as I understand it, the feeling of having failed or let one’s Dominant partner down is often felt to be the worst feeling of all.

Republished with permission from the very insightful author SnowdropExplodes.  Click Here to read more interesting Articles form This Writer and Practitioner of BDSM

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Let’s talk about the second best part of the blow job, a lot of guys may argue that this is the best part but I disagree!  The most important component in the blow job is enthusiasm.  Who wants a blow fro someone who looks on the task as similar to an IRS audit?  Do tell?  Um, no one less of course we are talking about the guy who wants you to beg not to be forced to suck his cock, but I digress, that is a wholly different blog! 

The second most important “talent” in giving great head is being able to deep throat.  Whether they admit it or not ladies those guys are waiting to see you swallow that man meat with the ease of a sword swallower.  All the licking, kissing and sucking is wonderful and adds tons of suspense for the magical vanishing cock show. 

I find that the biggest obstacles in deep throating are both simply mind over matter. Fear is the biggy, being scared of gagging and not being able to breath.  So I found the best trick is to relax.  Relax and remind yourself that you will breathe again.  Chant the mantra in your head if you must because it is a fact.  You will get to breath again and unless he has his hand on the back of your head you will get to choose when. Gagging is the same thing relax and when you feel the very first tickles of the gag reflex you need to push the cock head past that point and you will find the feeling subsides quickly and is replaced with satisfaction because once you pass the gag reflex you are there.  It is in your throat. Woot!

There is something to be said for laying on you back on the bed and letting your head hang off because it will give a clear pathway to the throat but for some that will increase the fear of deep throating because you are giving someone else control and when you are in fear of something you need to control it. For someone just learning it is always best to be in control of the blow!!

Most women do not have to resort to tricks but there is on that will help that gag reflex and that is a squirt of Chloraseptic. Chloraseptic will numb the back of your throat and help you overcome the gagging.  Remember though there is something good about gagging.  It produces all that thick saliva that is great for natural lube a big plus for all those organic girls! Deep throating will give you the same gobs of spit but don’t fear the spit or worry about it being to messy, the messier the better, have fun and play!

Both of you will get great joy as you head work on your graduation to Fellatio Queen!

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Well here is your chance to see exactly which holes you want to fuck!

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I dunno we will se how this works for us , us being me and you my reader, my friend , my caller…..

This is what a blog post looks like when done in windows live writer and I am not sure what I think of it yet.  I have so many neat little gadgets and plug-ins offered to me from word press I have to wonder if they will work with this cool little program.

If anyone else has ever used this, please, do let me know.

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Hot Little Meathole

This has got to me my very most favoriest website ever for BDSM porn.  Some sites show all the aesthetically pleasing photos of BDSM but many of these movies are also able to capture the emotions of it.  Basically these guys take a girl and push her limits both physically and emotionally and the hottest part of BDSM for me is the verbal humiliation and the mind control.  While they only do the mind control on a light level it is enough to make any girl cry usually which seems to be their ultimate goal, to make them get off and cry.  Get off on being whores.  I have always felt the first step is acceptance.

Some times they use professional porno models but usually they use girls whoa re just breaking into the business and I assume this is because they are easier to break than a seasoned professional who may have become accustomed to the kinds of things these men and sometimes ladies say to these girls.  It is one of the few porn sites that has been able to capture my excitement, emotions as well as my mind.  This link has a free trial, little short trailers but I would recommend signing up because then you can look at all the videos on  it some of the best is buried under new material.  I really hope you try it and like it!  Do let me know!

VISIT MEATHOLES HERE

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Memory, Gods damn it, Damn my memory.  I struggle so hard with it sometimes and do quite well with my little notebook to remind me of the things I must do and the things I must write but having the little notebook is not appropriate during calls or during sex I do not think. So I am left to this on my own with no help…..

I want to do good and I want to be very pleasing but it is hard because I do not remember if my reflection, my devotion is on, for lack of a better term the thesis statement :

Why Good Girls Get Punished

                      or

Why it is Important to be a Good Girl

I can write both but I am not sure witch one so I am going to go with the latter because it suits Johnny’s esoteric style.  While it may not be esoteric to most it is to me because you never know what they, they being Doms, are looking for.  I like specifics and they never give them!

So here goes.

I know you might expect me to write that I think it is important to be a good girl so I do not get punished but punishment is only a small part of a bigger picture.  Punishment like writing keeps my focus and puts me back in subspace where I belong, where I wish to dwell all the time but why it is important to be good is so much more than that.

For me , being pleasing is the most important and when I am not pleasing I am not really happy and I have no sense of my own perfection but only how another sees me and If you do not think I am perfect then I am not pleasing. The only opinion in that matter is that of the Master.

Yes, I will push boundaries when I am not in control and or to test you and want and expect you to keep those boundaries closed and not let me slip through a crack in the wall because even in my success I will fail.  Fail both you and myself.

The most important reason to be a good girl is because it makes me happy to be good.  It makes me happy to be who you want me to be and I cannot be any of those things if you do not remind me.

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