When I say focus, as mentioned in my previous article, I mean more than just on writing but on who I am and what I should be doing which as I write leads to a strange holly form of mediation and introspection.  It allows me to get god in a way and go the serenity path:

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Now you might be thinking Whoa…..getting God in BDSM.  Well yeah isn’t it that what it is about?  Is it not a form of worship and if you are Christian are you not supposed to be a submissive if you are a woman?  Isn’t the man supposed to be the God head and you are to serve him?  I think submission is both Biblical and natural for women and is as it should be.  Mind you I do think there are exceptions to the rule, as there are exceptions to any rule but ultimately I believe women must submit to men.

So when read this prayer it is not only honoring god but honoring My God head my master.  You could easily replace He with My Master In many places and when being read by a woman it is not sacrilegious but I would be more inclined to believe dead right.

I believe submission comes from the soul and is a gift from god for me to give to my Master.

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I am not sure if it is harder or easier to write when freezing.  I understand the concept and figure it is much like Dr.Wicked’s Writing Lab where outside stimulus keeps your focus. Dr wicked uses sound and in advanced mode takes your words away and Dom A uses the frigid Georgia winter weather. Wait, let me step back a moment.  It is not so cold here like places in the north where it is  below freezing but enough to give me goose bumps and keep my nipples hard as pebbles.

Did I mention the butt plug?  Yep it is there too, to keep me writing, another one of those outside stimuli.  I like it when this is done.  I like to be made to write.  I miss it very much and in the last two days I have had three writing assignments.  Beat that(or beat me)!  I go from a virtual sub frenzy to control.  I love being in control and would not have it any other way. 

I think this is something Dom A understands , “Idle Hands Are The Devil’s Tools” the same can be said for thoughts so writing is an excellent way to focus both on the good of the slave, ME!

I do enjoy listening to Dom A and hearing his stories they are very exciting and frightening, frightening in my phobia of bondage.  He found for me the name of the phobia and I cannot wait to find out what it is called.  Perhaps he will be willing to grab my other phobia by its horns and find its name, the name for my fear of midgets. 

When I fantasize about his retelling of his experiences I always put myself in the place of his slave and in this theater in my mind I can go where ever he takes me  and there I can go anywhere.  It is hard to image my mind bridging my reality because every time I have begun to go there I freeze and experience fight or flight and will take which ever out seems more achievable form my perspective at the time.  It is crazy what adrenaline can do.  I have broken bonds and bitten through a ball gag.

So scary yes but defiantly much fun!

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I wanted to share my darkest desire and I know many out there are not into body modification but I see it, in BDSM, as the ultimate show of devotion for the slave and the Master. 

What greater honor could bestow a slave than to be allowed to wear proudly her master’s mark? Especially if it was something she earned.  I know there are a lot of dominant men out there who think as soon as a slave enters their stable they should be permanently marked but to me this is a ridiculous line of thought.  Their mark should represent not notches on a bed post, on a belt or in this case some part of a slaves body no this mark represents his sign of devotion to her as well as hers to him. He has chose to display to the world his property, his property that he has chose to cherish and keep safe for a long time to come not just a notch.

The slave is making the sacrifice here, making a indelible mark on her body, her being to show her complete and total devotion.

I find it offensive to think it would be taken lightly by any responsible respectable Master. A master who just uses it as a notch on his belt is unworthy of respect and that light will shine through eventually but sadly for the slave not until after the mark has been placed.

I would love nothing more than to be so honored as to be allowed to wear my masters barcode on the back of my neck. Unfortunately that has not happened for me yet but it has for others at http://www.slaveregister.com/

Here many dominate and submissive couples and groups go to register their slaves for the world to see then, some take it a step further and take the bar code generated for them and make it in to jewelry and body modifications.

I would love to have the honor of wearing the jewelry even but as of yet it has not happened for me. A branding on my ass or a tattoo at the nape of my neck would be outstanding.

Here are some photos from http://www.slaveregister.com/  I enjoyed:

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I think perhaps I may have a slightly different perspective of what is haunting because I also……………..read more at

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I got a e-mail asking me about sex and felt compelled to answer this lady and help her in private e-mail but then reconsidered because if what I write can help her maybe it can help others. Basically…read more at 

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Dating services are something I know all about. You see there was a time where I would have called myself a professional dater. I was not looking for “the one” but looking to have… read more at

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I listened to my last caller, a Dom, tell his stories to me and was very intrigued at the intelligence and creativity that went into his sessions. The way he described them to me they were sessions with submissive women rather than slaves, I think, I say this because he gave no indication that these ladies were his 24/7 but rather having scenes.  I write this because many have read me make the distinction between submissive women and slaves i.e. all slaves are submissive but not all submissive women are slaves. When I make the distinction I am not saying one is better than the other, just clarifying.

We will call him Dom A.  Dom A made use of some factors for sensation that most over look.  In all honestly after thinking about it only he and one other have used it but both used them differently, these oftentimes over looked sensations, the weather. The former Dom friend who I never ended up meeting used the hot sunshine for training nude slaves at once punishing their whole bodies and giving them a healthy unlined glow but Dom A used the bitter cold of winter for punishment which while not wishing it done to me because some punishments you just don’t crave I thought it was very innovative to use something always available and work it into your punishments.

The one thing I never got to tell him is that while bondage turns me on intensely and all the porn I watch includes extreme bondage I have never been effectively tied because for lack of a better term, I am claustrophobic.  I am sure there is a phobia to cover the fear of being bound, I do not know the name off hand.  

I have tried to over come my fear by being bound in ways that there is no question that I can get out e.g. with panty hose that if you stretch them you can get out while still being able to feel confined. I also play with gags ball gags specifically but I have only ever been able to play with them so long as every thing else was unbound.  I have had my wrists lightly tied together as well. 

I have never been able to go so far as total bondage but am working on it in my own little ways in hopes to one day achieve that level of ecstasy.  It is a hard road.

I loved listening to his stories and imagining myself being able to be the girl in them.

One thing that is particularly hard for me that some Doms require and Dom A was no exception is silence.  I think I can quote “no noise and excessive theatrics”.  The problem being is I am very vocal and that has little to do with it being telephone considering I have always been this way and even in the days when I had to hide that I was having sex my partners began referring to me as “mouse” because the sounds that came out of me when I tried to stifle sounded very much like a mouse squeaking. Then there was the other extreme, when fucking vanilla guy and they would ask if they were hurting me (what a turn off).  Vocal for me is not a show because we are on the phone but an extension of what is going on inside me that I often cannot control either on the phone or with a man amounted above me which makes it a perfect infraction to punish me for though I do make such pretty noises , why would you want to miss out.

The only disagreement Dom A and I found was in protocol and he is interesting enough that I think we can overcome that unless of course he can beat my opinion out of me.

So, Dom A, I look forward to getting to know you better if you wish.

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