Fuck my Ass Fuck my Heart
So I thought I would explain what is going on in my life right now. So I will plunge right into it. I am sure most of you know about Johnny well I should have seen it coming to this, but I didn’t. He always said it would but I did not believe it would happen, not to me. I knew familiarity breeds contempt, trust me, he thrust that idea in my mind over and over again but I am not good at subtle hints, never have been I guess that is part of why I am submissive. I need direct orders and commands to get it right. In spite of his whispered suggestions I never thought anything I have done as contemptuous.
I guess many a married couple would have told me this would happen. Eventually the sex gets stale, television and or in my case games seem very important, and some how the fire seems to go out a bit and you begin to change and become stagnant. This is what he says is happening to us. I have to say though I never felt that way. Though he promises I can never be replaced, I have been. She is there and I am here where ever here is and for however long. I have to relearn my place he says and apparently I must do this while someone else assumes it.
I never thought we would ever again be states apart but we are and I am like I was then, when I met him, pathetic and needy waiting for the phone to ring, the instant messengers to make any number of their peculiar sounds waiting to hear from him. The only time the phone rings is when a caller rings in and I perform every task they ask of me to the best of my ability anything less would make him displeased. I have orgasms against my will.
He gave me his old laptop, I hate laptops and he was considerate enough to install of my software on her so I can still work.
My calls, yeah that was one of the problems, I was not doing it near enough. That is not to say I was not doing my calls properly but I have not been doing the hard stuff like I should. I have not been doing my/our sites like I am supposed his index page is still undone after weeks of my building the site the work is still undone. Raunchy people needs more pages and has been lacking for some time. I have even not been performing properly in the bedroom when he is using me and trying to manipulate my way out of punishments I deserve.
There is more, much more that I have done wrong and I suppose I will wait for him to let me know in more detail and address them. I want to fix them I want him to use me. I want to be used by him. I am supposed to be using this time to soul search but it is hard when I know she is with him. Jealousy, I am not supposed to have it but now I do. Sex, him having sex with all the others he did never bothered me but she is in my place. She is only the tip of the iceberg he tells me.
So how did it go down it happened Thursday?
Keep in mind I have been out of his confidence loop for at least three months. He has still been having me do grunt work for him but no longer confides in me.
He sent me to meet Beka. Beka is a Fem Domme he does shows with frequently. She has little use for females who give up their power to men but also understands where that can be advantageous to her. She uses women like me in her shows and berates us for being “pigs” and more useless than out male counterparts who have given up and equal amount of power.
I did not really know why I was there but she inspected me and used a bunch of different tools on me. She actually had me get up on her desk that was kind of in the middle of the room and she backed her chair out and retrieved a set of dildos from the file cabinet behind her and lubed each one before she stuck them in me to see if I could handle each one. I took all but the largest then fought back the tears and managed to take the head.
Then she had me put my feet on the floor and bend over her desk and she lubed my ass with a gloved finger and began sticking them in my butt. Finally she said “got to loosen this ass up: as she kept shoving fingers in me. She even took two fingers from each hand and forced them in and began stretching my as apart with them. Pulling it open from side to side, It hurt but I kept my face pressed against the cold wood of the desk refusing to make a peep.
She finally stopped and I watched out of the corner of my eye as she got a few but plugs out of the same drawer and beginning with the little one shoved them in the first two slid in and out with ease. The third though was a bit wide and she pumped it in and out of my butt several times until I did not make any sounds or wiggle then she took a bigger red one and it was not a jelly one like the others but harder and worked it in to the big part. I cried out a bit as she applied pressure and the searing pain began but it slid right in and while the pain remained it had eased once my whole rapped around the skinny base. She reached down with her other gloved and started playing with my clit. I did not want to like it but I responded instantly. Soon my body was rocking against her hand and at that moment she began fucking me with the butt plug. It burned every time it went in and out and I could barely focus on her fingers manipulating my clit, it hurt. After about 25 pumps my ass stretched to accommodate the toy and I began rubbing my pussy against her hand.
I did not know that meant the purple butt plug was next. It was huge. As she eased it in I still rocked against hand but half way through t bean to hurt, the burning was unbearable as her fingers worked my clit. Instead of forcing it she took her fingers and began pinching my clit hard while she worked the plug back and forth just to the point it hurt. I was crying the pain was terrible and I could not count on any pleasure from my clit because she was pinching it so hard with her nails through the gloves. Pumping the plug as far as I could take it very roughly while pinching every bit of my clit with mean little pinches.
She did this for about five minutes and while this does not sound like a long time when you have a monster plug pressing into your ass trying to fuck it and your clit getting pinched to the point it is so swollen it feels three times its size, it is a long time.
Then she started rubbing my clit again and it felt so good it over came the pain of the plug pumping into me. Almost soon that pain became too much it felt like my body was being ripped apart ass first but my clit responded in spit of my pain I began to wail and my clit started to feel like it was vibrating and her desk was wet with my tears. I felt my head getting light and my body tensed and I began to cum at that point she shoved the butt plug all the way into my ass and I came, collapsing onto her desk and my legs went out from under me she caught me and eased my upper body all the way onto the desk then pulled my panties up my prone legs and covered my ass.
Then walked toward the door and said you can wear that home. I felt so used and my belly was already cramping up. When I looked up another girl entered the room and was taking all the toys to the bathroom attached to the office.
She did not say anything to me so I quickly fixed myself and left, not daring to take the but plug out despite hw much it made me ache.
Well after meeting her, finally, I came home and could barely get in the door and there were bags of stuff in front of it and three suitcases. Not my suitcases. Seems the bags were mine, the garbage bags.
He took me in the bedroom where she was stuffing more of my stuff into garbage bags asked her to go into the living room and told me to sit down. He told me he loved me and that I am the only woman who has ever been a part of him and used one of his strange analogies , something about if one of his legs decided it had a brain and worked on it’s own free will he would not be able to walk of course it was more eloquent and drawn out than that but that’s what he said and added that now a part of him was not behaving as is should and were it his leg he would go to the doctor and have it fixed but since it is not his leg, but me he has do what he is doing now.
That was when with tears in my eyes I looked out the window and saw a van. Not a mini but a full size one and the blond who was taking my clothes out of the closet and now was taking them to the van. Taking the trash out?
Johnny promised it is not forever but as long as it takes and he explained that he was giving me to her. Everything I was expected to do before was still expected now and that I would be on video during my all of my calls and various times while I was with her and that I had better not be slack about anything or in any area or what he assured me “would not last forever” would become permanent. I was to do everything she said without question.
Thursday night , well all the nights so far have been horrible but Thursday was the worst I had to sleep bound well in wrist cuffs with that monster still in my butt. What she did to me was for novices! I should say what she does to me is reminiscent of being trained for a new Dom. I do not want a new dom I want him but it seems I have her. Every time I say the word mistress I feel like I am going to vomit.
Friday though was the worst in it’s own special way. I do not even know what state(Illinois I think) we were in but I was back on the live show circuit hooded and she let me be used. Course I have had others for Clinton sex per his request but never below the waist since he elevated me to his tree, whatever that means………….now………….
I am still in some hotel in Chicago I believe just because writing this sparked my interest defiantly, Illinois.
I really just want to go home. I have done four shows now all of them leveling me down.
I sit in this bedroom waiting for my cell to ring for a call but it is always one of them, never him. It seems the only contact I get with him is an IM and then only when it seems I have hit bottom. Only it seems the bottom gets further and further down.
Now that every one knows again, per his orders, I am quite certain my Dom callers will feel the need to take me down even lower, if there is lower.
Was prettier than me ?



There are 1 Comments to "Fuck my Ass Fuck my Heart"
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